With the help of comedic actress Anna Faris, Mr. T introduces his new Tee Machine, a game-changing device that produces the very best t-shirts of all time. A lot of people today suffer from bad-fitting tees, and as a result, those people are real dillweeds. Well, no more! As soon as Mr. T’s Tee Machine is in full swing, everyone will be able to enjoy soft, form-fitting t-shirts once again. By the way, I, too, know the pain of poorly fitting tees. So often, I find that my tees are just too darn bling-dazzled … hey, waaaiiitt aaaa miiinnuutte … does that mean I’m a real dillweed, too??
Made from dreamy, magical unicorn farts, this lip balm tastes just like the real thing — an irresistable flavor that combines spearmint, rainbows, cotton candy, love and hugs. UNICORNS 4EVER!
Guys, isn’t it about time you stopped paying for all that fancy-ass shave tech you don’t need? After all, your handsome-ass grandfather only ever needed one razor blade — and he had polio. So start shaving yourself some serious time and money by joining the Dollar Shave Club. Do it today!