Sep 25, 2011
Irene's Internet

New diet drug turns food into hallucinations?

Thanks to Hallucinex, the new weight loss drug just approved by the FDA, dieters everywhere will soon be able to lose those extra pounds and reach their fitness goals with ease. How does Hallucinex work? It’s pretty simple, actually. Whenever a patient sees food, the drug activates the fear response and visual processing centers within the brain.

As reported by the Onion News Network below, this unique combination curbs overeating by triggering monstrous, terrifying hallucinations at the mere sight of food. Patients report horrifying responses while in this state, from night terrors and demon sightings to the belief that food is an evil, sentient being plotting the downfall of all mankind. Scary!

So, what’s my take on this frightening new diet therapy? Well I say, horrifying schmorrifying. After all, screaming in panic at relentless visions of mindnumbing terror is a very small price to pay for being able to fit into my jeans from high school again. Am I right?? Sign me up, doc!    

Via The World’s Best Ever / The Onion

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